How to Overcome Performance Anxiety
The moments that we dread are usually ones that we are supremely qualified to handle, if only the amygdala (the hub of the brain's fight-or-flight system) in an effort to protect us from threat, wasn't...
View ArticleHow to Apologize
Given our propensity for hurting each other — usually inadvertently through our clumsiness or our being inconsiderate — getting good at apologizing should be standard-issue emotional equipment for...
View ArticleOutsmarting Procrastination
What is procrastination really about? It's about starting something. It's making a transition. And we don't like transitions. We don't like to wait to adjust. We want to be in a constant state of...
View ArticleSay Goodbye to Your Inner Perfectionist
The opposite of perfection isn't imperfection or mediocrity; it's reality. It's possibility. It's all the magnificent points that exist all around the bull's eye. read more
View ArticlePreventing Disappointment
When we say, "It better happen or else I'm gonna", fact is, the thing we're "gonna" do is get frustrated or, over time, even depressed. We create expectations, ultimatums and deals without making sure...
View ArticleHow to Be Prepared When Worry Attacks
Whoa there. Not so fast. What just happened? Has any of this happened? Is it likely to? Are there a ton of other possibilities that are a much surer bet than the catastrophic news feed running rip shod...
View ArticleBack to School Anxiety Solutions
Anxiety is about what is unknown or new, so children of all ages are worried about things that are unfamiliar or that they haven’t mastered yet.read more
View ArticleHow To Handle Change
The best things in life come out of change, often times even the changes that are unwanted. We don’t have to embrace change by diving in to those cold choppy waters headfirst, but if we can start by...
View ArticleEight Ways to a Happier Relationship
When you complain, you have a win-win: your partner gets to be the hero, just by not squeezing the middle of the tube and everyone’s happy. When you criticize, you’re left with shame and blame. Who...
View ArticleBetter Living Through Empathy
Abraham Lincoln famously said, "I don't like that man. I need to get to know him better." This is how we remove stigma. When we judge someone, what we reject or don't like has more to do with our own...
View ArticleLies My Anxiety Told Me
Never worry that “not worrying” will leave you unprepared: you’ll always be ready for danger. Your amygdala is always going to tell you to sweat the small stuff, but it’s your choice.read more
View ArticleFreeing Your Holidays (and Yourself) From Anxiety
It’s time to change our relationship with the holidays. We don’t have to break up with them, but just know that as with all things anxiety, the holidays aren’t the problem; it’s the story in our head...
View ArticleSurviving Family Holiday Gatherings
You emerge from these “happy” occasions demoralized or in a red-hot fury, plot your revenge, schedule an extra appointment with your shrink and talk about your family the whole way home. You are...
View ArticleSix Steps to Setting Sustainable New Years' Resolutions
January is a complicated month. At first blush, it's like new love. There's that wonderful, wind-beneath-your-wings feeling, that promise of a fresh start, an open door to the possibility that...
View ArticleWait! Don't Give Up on Your Resolutions, Yet!
We live life with a go big or go home expectation that just doesn't fit when it comes to making changes. Resolutions are the opportunity to create new habits and new habits take time. Maybe our...
View ArticleThe Power of Imperfection in Your Relationship
Instead of perfect love, which requires you to skip the parts that you don't like, go for true love. Think of true love as more love. It's what you get when you mix it all in: the good, the great, and...
View ArticleTaking Charge of Self-Imposed Stress
When world events increase our sense of vulnerability, it’s a good time to consider that all the ways that we increase our daily stress by worrying, catastrophizing, or judging ourselves or others...
View ArticleHelp! My Kids Have Too Much Time On Their Hands
Take my too much to do life combine it with my kids too little to do life, and you have two very different weather systems colliding in my kitchen—the result: a storm, a melt down, me being a monster,...
View ArticleA Zen Holiday Mash Up
Maybe the very thing we crave most is reconnecting anew with what we already have. The people in our lives, and yes, maybe the things too-- though seen in a new light.read more
View ArticleHow to Improve Your Relationship With One Simple Word
When we are thinking “we” our bodies respond in kind. The magic of this word we is that it’s a game-changer. When we say “we” we set in motion a “connectedness” program in the brain (and body) and so...
View ArticleTeach Your Child to Think Like an Olympic Athlete
In sports, managing the mind is as important as managing the body. Practicing mind-management yields what United States figure skater Jeremy Abbott describes as “mental toughness.” I think of it as...
View ArticleSix Ways for Parents to Keep Their Stress to Themselves
It’s not the ups and downs of burnt toast that are a problem for us and by extension our kids. It’s our reaction to these events. In the interactive world of crossed emotional wires, or what has been...
View ArticleThe Do-Over, or 5 Phrases That Saved My Family Vacation
Rather than makes things worse by wasting time finding the misunderstandings under the rubble of the hour long recapitulation, re-hashings and analysis, when all the good parking spaces of the beach...
View ArticleHelp, I’m Homesick!
The uneasiness makes sense. Your role as a parent at this point is not to take it away (if you even could!), but to help explain it, normalize it, contain it and most of all help your child understand...
View ArticleTaking Charge of Back-to-School Fears
All anxiety starts with the same experience. The “yikes” button gets pushed and kids think: “Yikes! Can I really do that?" The answer of course is yes, but worry's automatic reaction is—no! Better than...
View ArticleWhat Robin Williams Can Teach Us
We don’t have to feel the same things that people with depression do, or even understand them. But by trusting in the existence of that dark and murky reality, and leaning in to those who see it,...
View ArticleHomework Is Stupid and I Hate Everything
If kids knew to expect the struggle, and viewed it as temporary and manageable, and that on the other side of it is the aha moment of success and pride—well, they wouldn’t be so set on avoiding their...
View ArticleHow to Prevent Homework Procrastination:
The brain has a hard time transitioning, starting things that don’t have immediate gratification waiting. But, the brain does like finishing things. So a parent’s job is to help kids develop a routine...
View ArticleHow to Talk to Your Child (and Yourself) About Ebola
The problem facing most Americans is not the Ebola virus, it’s our anxiety about the Ebola virus. Yes, we are good at panicking, but we are also good at steadying ourselves and being smarter than our...
View ArticleHow to Teach Your Children Generosity During the Holidays
Self-centeredness and generosity are not mutually exclusive; they are more like next-door neighbors. In other words, your child has the capacity for both. It may drive us crazy to hear the gimmes, but...
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